21 Oct A love letter to an over-giver
“There is more to you
Than what you are capable of giving others
And providing for them
There is more to you
Than what you are willing to sacrifice for others
And give up in your own life in order to make them happy
And there is more to you
Than what you do for others and the world.
You are not everyone’s healer
You are not everyone’s parent or guardian
You are not everyone’s saviour
And giving is not your only purpose in life.
Sometimes when we feel unloved by others around us
We settle for being needed
We overextend ourselves
So that in return
They will like us
And we attempt to please them
At the expense of pleasing ourselves
Failing to realise
That by people-pleasing
We are attempting to manipulate them into liking us.
And when we continually say “yes” when we secretly mean “no”
We can be left feeling resentful
While when we are authentic
And kindly let others know through active communication what our true beliefs, desires and intentions are
And are honest and upfront about our boundaries
This is much better for both them and ourselves
In the long-term.
When it comes to others
Making large demands and requests of you
That just as you are capable
Others are capable.
Others are capable of taking action in their own lives
Others are capable of deciding for themselves what is best for them
And others are capable of relying on themselves or seeking help from someone else rather than you.
And so you may give them the space and freedom
To be able to effectively show up for themselves
And allow them to empower themselves
And instead, choose to give.
From a place of love and kindness
When you feel you want to
And donate your time, possessions and energy to others
From a place of abundance and generosity
Rather than simply out of obligation
As others are not entitled to your help
Others are not entitled to your energy or resources
And others are not entitled to your time and attention.
And just as we set boundaries with others
We must also set them with ourselves
And ensure that we are respecting our own time and energy
Just as much as the time and energy of others.”
—— Tahlia Hunter