21 Oct A love letter to an over-giver

“There is more to you

Than what you are capable of giving others

And providing for them

There is more to you

Than what you are willing to sacrifice for others

And give up in your own life in order to make them happy

And there is more to you

Than what you do for others and the world.

You are not everyone’s healer

You are not everyone’s parent or guardian

You are not everyone’s saviour

And giving is not your only purpose in life.

Sometimes when we feel unloved by others around us

We settle for being needed

We overextend ourselves

And overgive

So that in return

They will like us

And we attempt to please them

At the expense of pleasing ourselves

Failing to realise

That by people-pleasing

We are attempting to manipulate them into liking us.

And when we continually say “yes” when we secretly mean “no”

We can be left feeling resentful

While when we are authentic

And kindly let others know through active communication what our true beliefs, desires and intentions are

And are honest and upfront about our boundaries

This is much better for both them and ourselves

In the long-term.

When it comes to others

Making large demands and requests of you

Always remember

That just as you are capable

Others are capable.

Others are capable of taking action in their own lives

Others are capable of deciding for themselves what is best for them

And others are capable of relying on themselves or seeking help from someone else rather than you.

And so you may give them the space and freedom

To be able to effectively show up for themselves

And allow them to empower themselves

And instead, choose to give.

From a place of love and kindness

When you feel you want to

And donate your time, possessions and energy to others

From a place of abundance and generosity

Rather than simply out of obligation

As others are not entitled to your help

Others are not entitled to your energy or resources

And others are not entitled to your time and attention.

And just as we set boundaries with others

We must also set them with ourselves

And ensure that we are respecting our own time and energy

Just as much as the time and energy of others.”

—— Tahlia Hunter