22 Dec Emotional Oxygen

Lots of us grew up knowing that there was a limited amount of emotional “oxygen” in our family.

And very often that emotional “oxygen” went to other people.

We “learned” that our needs, or what we had to express, wasn’t “worthy” of that emotional oxygen.

So we got in the habit of not expressing ourselves.

We got in the habit of hiding our feelings and needs.

Not being seen by choice was preferable to being overlooked, ignored, or disregarded.

But kids who learned how to go without emotional oxygen become adults who feel guilty taking up emotional oxygen…even though emotional oxygen is what ANY relationship needs to breathe, to survive.

It’s okay to emotionally breathe.

It’s okay to NEED space and attention for your needs and feelings.

Even if it didn’t feel okay once upon a time.

What we “learned,” we can unlearn.

What we didn’t learn— self love, self care, self esteem— we CAN learn.