07 Sep The reality of loss

The more I think about it, the more I realize that much of life is spent on losing and mourning our losses. And though I’ve endured tremendous losses in my life, including my late father (Allah yarhamhu) 8 years ago and most recently my late mother (Allah yarhamha) last year, I don’t think my perspective is somehow skewed; I think this is true for everyone whether we’ve been through major losses or not.

In fact, Allah ﷻ tells us as much:

إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِى خُسْرٍ
Surely humanity is in ˹grave˺ loss…
(Qur’an 103: 2)

Think about all the “things” you’ve lost that consumed you, distracted you, made you lose your faith or even gain it. Think about how with every loss you either had the time to mourn properly or you didn’t even know you needed to mourn. Some people lose things without even knowing it, but the moment they come to awareness of the loss, they suddenly feel the pangs of heartache that come with it!

Loss is real, it is a necessary human experience. Without our losses, we cannot know our true selves. Through loss, we learn much about our desires and priorities. We learn about what our heart is attached to and what it has been neglectful of. Loss is not something we should ever desire, but when it happens, we shouldn’t resist it, but rather understand it to be a necessary step in our spiritual evolution.

Losses you may or may not have ever mourned, but perhaps should contemplate:

—Loss of innocence (fitra) and childhood
—Loss of safety and security
—Loss of the past
—Loss of trust in authority
—Loss of health and well-being
—Loss of hair, muscle, faculty, or any other part of one’s physical being that one took pride in.
—Loss of wealth or income
—Loss of something valuable
—Loss of something invaluable
—Loss of the *promise* of true love
—Loss of a missed connection or potential relationship
—Loss of a marriage/family/life built
—Loss of a friendship
—Loss of a loved one suddenly, without warning
—Loss of a loved one with warning
—Loss of time to explore your personal goals
—Loss of time to polish your skills in an area of interest
—Loss of an opportunity to study your faith formally
—Loss of an opportunity to defend yourself
—Loss of your rights due to you by someone you trusted
—Loss of trust and being vulnerable with people
—Loss of confidence in people to do what’s right
—Loss of compassion and care for others
—Loss of the life we envisioned for ourselves
—Loss of freedom
—Loss of the ability to not worry and live carefree
—Loss of joy
—Loss of meaning
—Loss of clarity
—Loss of physical strength and endurance
—Loss of confidence and security
—Loss of the “younger” you, the “prettier/handsome” you, the “driven” you, the “social” you, the “optimistic” you
—Loss of time spent with loved ones
—Loss of time or opportunity to travel
—Loss of the “joy of the moment” when your kids were younger
—Loss of hearing the laughter/voice or smelling the distinct perfume or scent of a loved one who has passed on or left
—Loss of the company of the righteous
—Loss of the du’as of loved ones once they pass
—Loss of every passing day wasted without the remembrance of God…

We are either in loss, mourning loss, or fortifying our hearts in preparation for loss even if we don’t know it.

To be human, is to lose. To be a believer, however, is to know that with every loss in this world that we bear with perfect patience for the sake of God, we haven’t actually lost at all.

For indeed, Allah ﷻ reminds us in Surah al-Asr:

وَٱلْعَصْرِ
إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِى خُسْرٍ
إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ

By the passage of time
Surely humanity is in ˹grave˺ loss
except those who have faith, do good, and urge each other to the truth, and urge each other to perseverance.

Loss is a reality, but the perception of loss is determined by our perspective. May Allah ﷻ make us among the exceptional who ‘have faith, do good, and urge each other toward truth and perverence’! Amin! <3

By: Hosai Mojaddidi