The Trap of Comparison
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The Trap of Comparison

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullah
Beloved sister,

Praying this note reaches you in peace & blossoming faith.

Welcome to the April edition of Letters from the Lighthouse!

As we all strive to prepare for Ramadan (only 20 days left!), one of the key challenges that arise for many of us, is that of comparison: whether it’s about what we’re serving on the iftaar table, Eid plans, or the spiritual contentment of the blessed month.

While we are encouraged to be spiritually ambitious in this month, we need to also be careful: don’t allow that competitiveness to create despair in your heart; don’t allow those comparisons to draw you away from His Mercy and Care.

This month’s letter to YOU is all about preventing the trap of comparison.

  1. Stop. Ask yourself whether this comparison is helpful and constructive. It may be that it’s useful, it might be a good motivator for you. But if it’s de-motivating, STOP!
  2. Remind yourself it’s a snapshot. Remember, you’re only seeing a snapshot of this other person’s life, and it’s quite likely they’ll have their own insecurities too. Despite what we think, nobody is perfect, and 9/10 people don’t have the perfect life we perceive them to have. Keep on at your daily Quran routine, your additional salah and dua. 
  3. Be kind to yourself. Everybody is different, and comparing is natural. Don’t use it as yet another tool to berate yourself with, or take you away from His Mercy: instead think of something kind to say to yourself, reminding yourself how grateful you are to be Muslim and alive with ieman in this blessed month.
  4. Use it to inspire you into action and make changes. Often when we compare ourselves to someone else it can be a great tool to help us know what it is we desire/strive for. For example, perhaps that person runs a successful soup kitchen or Eid collection drive for underprivileged, or, have completed their Tafseer course program. If so, recognize what you really want in life, and then set goals to make it happen for you!

Onward, Upward, Inward!
Your Ramadan Coach,

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